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Nos • tal • gia - noun - a wistful desire to return in thought or in fact to a former time in one’s life, to one’s home or homeland, or to one’s family and friends; a sentimental yearning for the happiness of a former place or time.

I was really really bored last night while waiting around on Yahoo, and so I was passing the time looking for something in one of my old email accounts. Old email accounts, by the way, are the best time capsules ever. In the process, I started reading some old emails and taking a quick trip down memory lane. It was like reliving the past… something I tend to be overly good at.

After that I pulled up my old Xanga (now that’s a riot and a half…) and was looking through some old entries… and then, just before I got off for the sake of needing just a little bit of sleep before I had to go to work, I found myself over at the Internet Archive looking at the entries for Transitionalstate. That, by the way, was James’ idea. I forgot about the IA.

I miss T-state. I really, really do! I honestly haven’t found a forum with that level of close-knit community since then. I mean… people have met on this forum and gotten married (Sonny and Jessie, Grant and Adrienne), and I’ve met quite a few of the friends that I’ve had for… well, since T-state. I really, really miss it.

I’ve been thinking a bit about community. T-state had it. Why? What was it about that particular group of people in that time and in that place that seemed to click? Seriously, it really was the most drama-free forum ever. I can remember one member getting disciplined and… well, he shouldn’t have been on there in the first place.

Why can’t communities in real life work this way? Perhaps it’s because we don’t see each other face-to-face. Perhaps, in real life, it’s not just friends and more friends… it’s friends, family, and more ties and loyalties than I care to think about. This is, once again, delightfully vague. I’ve just been in a bit of a funk the last day or so, for many many more reasons than just this.

Some days I wish that we could bring back certain elements of the past… and some days I’m thankful that I’ll never have to live through those particular trials again.

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Yes, I really feel stupid now, being admin of CYF. I feel like an old geezer who honestly has no idea what’s really going on, and just pops in every now and then to wave a cane at the young-ins.

Maybe it’s time to pass it on… but I don’t know anyone who’s on there with the technical know-how to take over for me.

I still feel stupid…

First things first… New Music Monday, which means there’s a new song in my sidebar. Check it out!

Anyhow, I had all this stuff to say, and then I took time to upload the new song and change the files I needed to, and now I’ve totally forgotten what I was going to say! And thus, we threaten to enter the realm known as pointless blogging. I do it much more than I should.

Camp’s on right now. To be honest, I haven’t heard of very many people going this year. Of course, I’ve been somewhat slacking in my CYF duties as of late, and there’s probably a million people that are going that I should know about… but I don’t. And all of the old regulars, or even the semi-old regulars, aren’t going to be there… with very few exceptions. It’s strange. I had no desire to go this year, no more than a fleeting desire for a few minutes that was easily dismissed.

Found out later that I wasn’t actually invited this year, but that’s besides the point.

But it’s weird, because I’d mark each year with the passing of Camp Yeshua. I’ve been running the forum for… goodness, almost two years now? I’ve gone every year except the very first (and honestly, I don’t even think I was Messianic that long ago).

It doesn’t bug me, because everyone I truly want to be connected with… I already am. I just need some kind of monumental event for this summer so I can keep track of the years later.

Anyone up for a monumental summer event?