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My friend James and his dad are hosting a tour to Israel in Spring 2009, and they invited me. My first reaction was “Oh, yay! I’ve always wanted to go to Israel, ever since I was old enough to realize it was a real place!”

And honestly, for just over a week in Israel, the price isn’t all that bad either. If I save a certain amount each week between now and then, it won’t be too overwhelming. Just get that registration in pretty quick and you won’t have to pay quite as much.

Honestly, though, the more I think about it, the scarier it gets. Not the actual going part, but the “committing to paying this huge amount” part. I’m afraid of committing and then having to pull out at the last moment. It’s happened to me before. The first time I tried to enroll in college, I went ahead and signed up for housing, because at that time, I was going to have my trust fund money by the time school started. Well, things with my grandfather fell through and I had to pull out… but because I had signed up for housing, I ended up owing the university no small bit of money.

Which they still hound me about.

I’m just afraid of that happening again… committing to this Israel thing and then having to pull out at the last moment because of things completely out of my power. I can’t afford to lose anything like that.

I don’t know. I guess I’ll have to think about it some more.

Tomorrow after work I’m headed down to Sulphur with my family for Sukkot. I only get to spend four out of the eight days with them, but that’s still better than nothing (or worse yet, backyard camping, which is like… being in denial that there’s something better to do).

It’s just us… no big hoopla, just a couple of tents and some Sukkot merriment. And whoever else drops by. I’m just happy I’ve got four days off work in which I can chill by the lake and write (only because taking my guitar would mean noise pollution… because I stink so far).

Anyhow, all that to say, I won’t be online for the next four/five days. See you all Tuesday!

Lately I’ve been finding myself really stressed out for no reason… to the point of snapping at people when they really didn’t deserve it. It’s not even like life is really all that awful right now. I just have a bad habit of getting myself into a tizzy.

I’ve been learning how to relax. Not just my body, but my brain and my emotions as well. This is what I do to relax.

1. Music. This is seriously the key to unwinding… for me, anyhow. Grab your iPod, CD Player, or heck, the closest radio, and put on music you love. It doesn’t even have to be relaxing music… I’ve been known to fall asleep to some hard rock before. Worship music, soundtrack music, screaming kids with dreadlocks, whatever it takes.
2. Find something to occupy your brain. If you put your mind on something else, you won’t have time to over-analyze everything else, now, will you? Pick something repetetive and methodical… like the Solitaire game that’s on every PC, or doodling on a sheet of paper, or crocheting, or painting your toenails. If that doesn’t relax you, find something to challenge your brain. Immerse yourself in a problem of mediocre importance. Me, personally, when I hit that point, I code a website or a layout. It’s not life or death, but it takes my mind off of life’s little annoyances.
3. Take a walk. Get out. Go look at something else. Take that music from step one with you. If you’re not into walking, get in your car and just drive. Pull your old bike out of the shed and cruise the neighborhood. Just get out and absorb the change in scenery.
4. Completely clear your head. Everyone does this differently. Some people will get into full-on meditation to clear their head… some people just need to lie in their back yard and look at the stars. Think about God. Think about nothing at all. Just clear your head.
5. Have a heart-to-heart with your best friend. Even if you just end up giggling about something that someone said to someone else, or drawing reeses pieces in a tree and saving it for later (okay, so we’re weird), sometimes a friend is all you need to relax you and get you out of your slump.
6. Do something artistic. You don’t even have to be artistic for this! Get a piece of paper and some crayons and just scribble! Write a book/story/poem/song. Doodle. Draw all over the entire road with sidewalk chalk.
7. Take a nap. Sounds lazy, but a lot of people get stressed out when they don’t get enough sleep. Take a little nap. It’ll probably unwind you pretty fast.
8. Just worship. I’m not even particularly good on this one (today’s confession), but it’s probably better than everything else put together. Just take your focus completely off yourself, put it on Him, and watch everything fall into place.

I guess that’s all I have for now. For some reason, I was thinking about this on the way home from the lake. We went to Sulphur today, which is where we’re planning on having Sukkot, just to scope it out and spend some time swimming. After we ate lunch, I was waiting for a while before I got back in (that’s just the way I was taught, thank you!), and ended up just sitting on the shore, just letting the waves wash over me… just letting everything drain out of my head. It’s the most relaxed I’ve been in quite a while… and it was absolutely lovely.

So what do you all do to relax? Anything? If you all don’t speak up pretty soon, I’m going to have to start up another de-lurking week. Also, what are your plans for Sukkot? We’re camping with some friends of ours, but I’m a little disappointed because the only other “youth” will be my sister, who is fifteen, along with a fourteen year old and an eleven year old. That’s the one thing I probably miss about Sukkots in the past… all of the youth. Oh, gosh, though… I’m not even really youth anymore!

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