Melilyn.com

Yes, I know I skipped two days of the blogathon. I know. You know what? Who cares. Yeah, I still plan on doing this, but it honestly doesn’t bother me that I missed two days.

Happy birthday to me. Did you have a good birthday, Mel? No, I didn’t.

I mean, it wasn’t bad… I’ve possibly had worse. I can’t remember. But what did I do today? Let me tell you. I got up at five thirty (those of you who know me know how much I am not a morning person) and went to work. There, I spent about eight and a half hours in high-adrenaline mode… busy day and not enough good workers. Oh, and I had to spend an hour in the cold wrestling with the stupid marquee.

When I finally got off work, I walked home and spent the next three hours helping my family clean two rooms (one of which is mostly the kid’s room… absolutely horrific) and move all of this furniture around. Thankfully, I had stipulated in my birthday dinner request that I was not going to make dinner, so I did get about a half hour of down time. Then I ate dinner, put the kids to bed, and spent the next hour or so cleaning up.

Now here I am. I can’t get half of the pages on the internet to load (and the ones that do load are doing it after four or five retries), and if I restart my computer now… well, why not just turn it off? I should be going to bed anyway. I work a half hour earlier tomorrow. I’m vaguely depressed for a very personal reason, I’ve got people coming up next weekend and I have no earthly idea how we’re going to pull that off without getting stuck here in town, staring at each other. I’ve got a million things that I want to do, all of them important in their own way, none of them I want to drop. My next paycheck(s) have to go to getting Jack fixed, a plane ticket to a wedding I don’t even get to see, and a lot of little needs… when I’m still trying to save up for that mac.

I’m twenty years old and I feel like I’m going nowhere fast. I’ve got a mediocre job, no money to take classes anywhere, no real sense of where I want to go with my life, no romantic possibilities in sight, no regular fellowship… it’s all been adding up just to culminate on a day that maybe I’m supposed to feel a little bit special but I don’t.

Not asking for a pity party. This pretty much started out as an explanation as to why I missed two days of the blogathon. In the end, it’s really not a big deal.