Melilyn.com

Okay, so I’m addicted. I love this thing. This leaves xanga in the dust.

Anyhow! Did a whole lot of not much today… but that’s how Thursdays generally go. I think I need to get some school books out or something, graduate or not a graduate, because this constant feeling of WAITING is driving me up the wall. I really need to get my German books out and really work on that before next semester. God willing I’ll be finally going to UCO next semester!

Tomorrow is Preparation Day so I won’t be on to give you the update… I have to get a lot of work done so I’m able to go over to the Newlin’s house on shabbat. That will be wonderful! And tomorrow night I have services… not sure of my opinion on that is. This whole thing with leaving B’nai and going to a new congregation… is just… WEIRD. All around. I don’t even know how to describe it.

Maybe tonight before I go to bed I can get some writing done. Do you know I haven’t opened my journal since the twelfth? May not sound like much to you, but I’m an insane journaler and that’s a long, long time for me. I haven’t written a thing since right before this whole thing went down… and I’m afraid to write it down because it will just take so long.

I’m not even exactly sure when Rosh HaShanah is. I’m guessing it’s not too far away, now that some of my friends are done with Sukkot already. (*pause*). Aha, it’s the fourth! Thank you TorahTeens calendar! Now I don’t even know what we’re doing, since we’re not with B’nai anymore. Probably what we’ve done in the past all by our lonesome, go to a river and do the service ourself.

No puppet songs, please and thank you.

It’s funny how just a “no, I’m not mad at you” will take a huge weight off of your shoulders and make it much easier to sleep!!

I actually had a really interesting dream last night. It started out pretty normally, like I was just doing something with the kids outside. I think the kids were on the trampoline. Anyhow, I decided to go over to the road and check the mail. Nothing too interesting… a Walmart circular, a phone bill, a letter from a guy, a “have you seen me” card, and another bill.

Wait a second, you say, Melanie, getting a letter from a guy?

Yup. The funny thing was that in my dream I wasn’t surprised one bit. Apparently I had been corresponding with him a LOT. Anyhow, I went and sat in the yard, opened this letter, and began to read. Some pictures fell out with it, and I remember the letter was on blue paper. Funny the things you remember! The pictures were gorgeous… a hillside covered in autumn trees, blue skies and big white puffy clouds, this young man and apparently his brother standing under one of those big, old, spread out trees with lots of red and orange leaves. Oh man. For those of you who know what my favorite season is, you know I was in heaven!

And in this letter, he answered a bunch of questions I had apparently asked him, told me a few other things, told a funny story, and asked me some questions in return. And then, at the very end, he said that he and his family had invited me to their house.

I don’t know where he lived, but it was a long ways away, and I got in a train to go there. I mean, I was sitting there in the grass reading this letter, and then all of a sudden I was riding this train through the autumn countryside, then getting off.

Details here are vague. I remember sitting in an old-fashioned kitchen eating something, looking at this young man helping his younger sister (she must have been, like, six) cut something, thinking about what a great person he was. I remember sitting in a huge pile of leaves, like it was a fort. Fall leaves like they don’t have in Oklahoma!

And then a bunch of us were going to go do something fun, I have no idea what, but we were going to do something fun, and I was having an absolute BLAST being included in something like this… and then my sister woke me up and it was morning.

But it was one of those happy dreams you get once in a while… It probably doesn’t mean anything, but it sure put me in a good mood today!

Holy wow! Finally, what I’ve wanted to do for SO long! So I took a couple of dollars from my trust fund and got myself a domain. I think it’s well worth it, most definitely!!

So if I can work out all of the little quirks with the system, Camp Yeshua Forums will be hosted here, as well as my own designs, as well as… well, you’ll just have to wait and find out, now, won’t you?

Now. Onto seriousness. I guess I can announce it now that it’s a million bazillion percent final and I’ve been alluding to it for the past week… my family and I have left B’nai Shalom. And we’re not going to Sukkot in Chandler. And I’m not going to be dancing five times on stage, and I’m not going to be the fearless-teacher of the tambourine troupe, and I’m not going to teach three tambourine workshops, and I’m not going to get to see the Canadians (unless Lisa follows through on her plots) or Emily or anyone, and… and… and…

We’re now attending Beit Yeshua in Noble, which is pretty much the congregation that formed from the Great B’nai Shalom Split two years ago before Sukkot. The irony in the whole thing is just… amazing. And we’re going to their Sukkot by Lake Thunderbird.

I can’t think of what else to say. Just pray for peace of mind in all of this.